No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
