Did you just see the Batmobile???
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
