Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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