turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you didnt know i had herpes?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
