Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
