he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
