3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
