I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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