It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
