let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
