So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
