In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
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