He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
