He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
