I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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