And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
