I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
