So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
