C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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