Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
