Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Randomize