marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
