forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
