bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
