Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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