i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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