I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
