Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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