someone threw a dead crab at me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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