I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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