It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
