Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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