all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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