His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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