if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize