Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize