There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
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