google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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