I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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