am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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