I hate all girls vehemently.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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