Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
