i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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