dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize