I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
