Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
