I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
