How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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