I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
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