i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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