Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
