so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
