I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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