you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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