Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
