This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize