you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Randomize
