Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize