dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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