Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
