hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
